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I don't think this is real, but it is pretty funny! And also a good practice for some pachucadas!



Merlin Industries

Trenton , NJ USA


To: Costa Rican Employees

From: Human Resources Department

Subject: New Policy using the Spanish language during working hours.
1) Words like "picha", "hijueputa " and other such expressions will not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion may get.
2) Non-important matters should not be addressed to as "mierda"
3) You will not say "la cagó" when someone makes a mistake, or "cagaron" if you see someone being reprimanded. All forms and derivates of the word "cagar" are inappropiated in our environment.
4) Lack of determination will not be referred to as "falta de huevos" or "culioladas", not will a person with lack of initiative be referred to as "maricon", "playo" or comemierda".

5) No manager or supervisor, under any circunstances, will be referred to as "ese care picha", or "ese maricon"
6) When a good proposal is presented, the term "está pichudo" must no be used.
7) Unusual or creative brainstorming meetings will not be referred to as "diarreas mentales".

8) Do not say " como jode" if a person is persistent, or " se jodió " if somebody is going trough a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say "que Hijueputa " or " que dolor de picha "when matters become complicated in your line of work.
9) When asking someone to leave you alone, you should not say " vayase pala mierda", or will you substitute "qué putas quiere?" for "May I help you?".
10) When leaving the office, using the term " me voy malparidos " is not proper.
11) When any office equipment fails, it must be reported as " it broke down", not " se despichó" or " se jodió está mierda ".
12) Last but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say, "me voy a limpiar el culo con esto". Just keep it clean and file properly.

Thank you for your cooperation.

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As someone who grew up in New Jersey and who lives in Costa Rica I have two comments:


  1. It is simply not conceivable that any company anywhere in New Jersey would ever try to minimize the use of crude expressions no matter the language. It's the State that invented FYYFF after all.
  2. I am embarrassed to admit that I am utterly unable to live up to my heritage in the use of colorful language in Costa Rican Spanish. Thank you for the intro, although I fear I simply am not moving in the right circles to acquire the proper education. Perhaps going to the local fútbol games in the Liga de Ascenso will help?
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